On things spiritual.

"There is a difference between the observable universe and the physical universe."
-Chris Impey

Coming across the aforementioned sentence during astronomy was supposed to serve the purpose of driving the author's point home.  Unfortunately, it actually distracted me.  Something about the wording reminded me of another quote:

"Methinks that in looking at things spiritual, we are too much like oysters observing the sun through the water, and thinking that thick water the thinnest of air."
-Herman Melville

Another one that came to mind, too, from C.S. Lewis' Miracles.  In it, he describes reality as a sort of building with several floors, where we don't know what is happening on the other floors.  Of course, if you've ever stayed in a noisy hotel, you know that floors of buildings aren't completely cut off from each other.  You might catch glimpses- or, more likely, noises that sound like elephants at 2 a.m.- but you can't fully understand what's going on unless you are actually present on the floor. C.S. Lewis explains it much more elegantly, but I unfortunately cannot remember where in the book he discussed it.  I'm sorry.

Anyway, a thought has been playing through my head recently, and it goes like this:

I'm glad I serve a God that I could never imagine fully.

Yes, sometimes faith is frustrating.  Yes, I long for a close and personal relationship with my Savior, which would be a lot easier if He wasn't so unlike anything I've ever experienced.  Yes, there are days that I wish Christianity was always easy to understand, believe, and live.

But what if it was?

If I always had the answers, do you know what that would mean?
It would mean that God was like me.  That's the only way I'd be able to fully comprehend Him.  (Although, to be honest, I don't fully understand myself, but I tend to think that's because I was made by an intelligence greater than mine.)

That's actually pretty terrifying.  Given the two alternatives, I would take uncertainty every time.

But it's not just that.  I love the fact that I will never run out of things to be taught by God.  All the days of my life, He will continue to gently correct my perceptions and replace them with reality.  I can go deeper and deeper and never reach His end.  And I will never have to lose the sense of wonder and amazement that fills me when I ponder His character in all the ways He reveals it: His Word, His Spirit, His creation.

Just to be clear, I am not trying to imply that this means I don't need to endeavor to comprehend God to the fullest extent of my ability.  I'm simply rejoicing that that struggle will never end, until I see Him as He is.

"Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known.  But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.  All who have this hope in Him purify themselves, just as He is pure."
-1 John 3:2-3

Love Before First Sight

Now that I'm back, I thought I'd share a blog post I started writing in mid-January.  Somewhere along the line, I had the idea that it would be good for the week around Valentine's Day.  It was a nice thought, but it didn't work on account of my procrastination and the fact that I was on vacation.  So, after revisiting and finally finishing it, I have decided to share it anyway.  :)




     I pre-ordered my first c.d. in January:  Fading West by Switchfoot.  In my usual overly-excited manner, I listened to the three songs that were available, and made myself happy by pushing the "Show Complete Album" button on Itunes.
     I know, it sounds like a sad life.  For some people, it probably would be, but I am not one of those people.  I loved looking at the song list, imagining what the songs would sound like, guessing which ones would be my favorites.
     "'Let It Out' sounds like it has promise," I thought, hearing a melody with those lyrics that sounded more like a Josh Groban line than a Switchfoot chorus.  That was okay.  Part of the excitement was in the not knowing, and I trusted Jon Foreman not to let me down.
     He didn't.  "Let It Out" is one of my favorite songs on the album, and that's saying quite a bit because it's a great album.  "It was love at first sight for me with this song.  Or should that be love before first listen?" I thought the other day.  In case you're wondering why I was thinking this, well, I can't be 100% sure why I think anything. However, in this case, I'm almost certain that I was trying to come up with something, anything, to keep me from breaking out into some embarrassing dance moves to the music only I could hear.
     My motives for thinking aside, I quickly realized that thought wasn't accurate.  In actuality, I loved that song before first time I heard it.  Admittedly, the first love was entirely different from the second, but it was there nonetheless.
     That thought led to another:  "You know," I said to myself, even though I obviously did already know what I was thinking, "That's what I want for my future marriage."  Any two people can create a story where they fall for one another's looks, personality, smile, smarts, smell, or whatever else causes people to fall in love at a certain time.  I want to love before first sight, to say, "I don't know who he is, or what he's like, but I'm so excited about the fact that we're going to be together someday that I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that I can love him in the best way possible when he finally comes along."
     It's a good thing that's the kind of sentiment that is best expressed by actions, because I'm not sure that I have the breath capacity for a run-on sentence of that length.  What are these actions I'm talking about?  Well, one is being pure and guarding my heart, because I don't want there to by anything superficial and jaded about our relationship.  Others would include improving my relationships with my family that I live with now, learning skills that I need in order to be prepared to live away from my parents (read: cooking.), praying for him, and trusting his (and my) Creator not to let us down, because He never has.
     This is where the analogy stretches itself out even further.  It occurred to me that "love before first sight" should really be the story of my entire life.  Because, from an eternal perspective, this is really just another waiting period.
     The purchase of my salvation has already been made; my future has been created by the God I've come to trust while I'm here.  Earthly reality, for me, should be a time of preparation for and anticipation of the time when I will finally see my Savior- an experience that will far surpass anything I'll ever experience in this life.
   

"Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known.  But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.  Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure."

~1 John 3:2-3

In case you're wondering about the plan

^This doodle has nothing to do with the post,
but I needed some graphics.  :)

During devos last week, I came across a striking quote in My Utmost For His Highest.  I know, I know, it's not the first time.  And, since I'm intending to actually read it all the way through from January 1- December 31 this year, it's probably not going to be the last.  Anyway, here it is:

"Have you been asking God what He is going to do?  He will never tell you.  God does not tell you what He is going to do- He reveals to you who He is." (Oswald Chambers)

My first thought was, "I wish I'd read this earlier."  I wish I'd read it in tenth grade, when the perfectionistic planner inside began to feel uneasy that I still had no idea about my college major.  Or, it would have been nice during my senior year, when I'd cry out to God, "I want to do Your will.  Please, just show me what that is!"

I've been asking the wrong questions.

You see, what I'm really desiring when I say, "Show me Your plan!" is not a knowledge of God's will for my life.  I know, it certainly sounds like that's what I'm asking.  I even had myself fooled.  But there's something else going on.  Do you want to know what it is?  (Hope so, 'cause I'm gonna tell you anyway.)

What I'm really asking for is the comfort I've always known.  The comfort of plans and schedules, and being able to say, "On Sunday I go to church," or, "On Friday I get to see my friends!"

In essence, I've been praying for God to give me a reason to be prideful when people ask me about my future plans.  I wanted Him to give me an answer that would make them walk away thinking, "Wow.  That girl really has her life together." instead of forcing me to admit that I'm as fragile and dependent upon my circumstances as everyone else.

And God, in His infinite and loving wisdom, refused to give into my whining.  Yes, He has plans for me, and He could have chosen to reveal them, but He said "No."

No, because plans are, after all, a flimsy substitute for the comfort only He can bring.
No, because I need to learn to walk humbly with Him.
No, because if I knew what was going to happen in my life, I'd miss out on a great opportunity to learn lessons about His character.
No, because I need to trust Him...

I think it's probably safe to assume that most of us are wondering about the plan in at least one area of our lives.  I certainly am, but you know what?  God can raise the dead.  He can transform our times of uncertainty into certainty about Him.

It's a wonderful place to be.

Christian(?) Music

"Do you like Justin Beiber?" my niece asked.

     "No."

     "Why?!  He has a song called 'Pray.'"

     I had two options: try to reason with a nine year old who has a crush on a celebrity twice her age, or drop the subject as soon as possible.  Not surprisingly, I chose the latter.

     "Oh, he does?  Good for him."

     That conversation last weekend was followed by the release of Relient K's new album on Tuesday, which caused much discussion about the topic of Christian versus secular music between Allison, Molly, and myself.  (You can read Molly's blog post on the subject here.)

     I don't listen to much music outside of the contemporary Christian genre, based on the fact that I prefer the thoughts it spawns.  I'm aware that it's not a choice most people make, and that's fine.  Still, I have conversations with a lot of people who feel a need to justify their musical taste to me- and it dawned on me after my conversation with Leta the other day that their logic is very similar.

     "They say they're Christians.  I looked it up."

     "It's not bad music.  I mean, they don't swear or anything."

    Those are general statements.  This one is a direct quote when a friend and I were discussing my distaste and his love of Relient K:

     "I like them because they're Christian, but if one of my friends walks up while I'm listening to them, they won't know that it's Christian."

    

     While I don't necessarily think that we have to listen to Christian music all the time, I think a distinction needs to be made.  I am all for listening to music without bad words and supporting fellow Christians, but if the music doesn't cause you to lift your eyes and your mind to Jesus, then it's not Christian.

     So...  Favorite bands, anyone?  Christian or non-Christian?  :)

God's love and tautologies

     I've recently been working my way through a book by C.S. Lewis, and it has been simultaneously entertaining and enlightening.  In other words, it's exactly what I would expect from him.  That's why he's one of my favorite authors.
     Let's switch topics for a minute, shall we?  I have a lovely little definition to share with you.  You may have already heard it, but I want to make sure.

     Tautology:
   Repetition that does not contribute to clarifying the meaning.  

     I have actually heard this word used in conversation.  Last year, a quizmaster in Bible quizzing happily pointed out to us that Peter was a master of tautology with his statement of, "In the last days, scoffers will come, scoffing..."  (2 Peter 3:2, excerpt)
      
     If that helps you remember the definition, great.  When I came across it in my book, I had to look it up again.  The statement I read was this:

"'God is love' may be a tautology to the seraphim; not to men."  

-C.S. Lewis, Miracles

     Those words have been rolling around in my head for the past few days, sinking in.  I've been wondering what it would be like to have your definitions of God and love so meshed together that they become needless repetition.  It's a staggering thought.
     On Sunday, a missionary visited our church.  He spoke about how we let our own self-loathing cheat us out of intimacy with God.  It struck me, because it's something I'm familiar with.  I cannot tell you how many times, as I've marveled over God's love to me, I've simultaneously been asking, "Why?"  
            The missionary pointed out that we've done nothing to deserve God's grace, but God chose to love us anyway.  He loves us the way we are, not the way we think that we should be.  Then He begins the work of making us like himself.
     He didn't say anything that I'd never heard before, but it was exactly what I needed to hear.
     "I AM love."  God seemed to be telling me.  "It's a tautology.  Don't you get it?"
     I've been acting in a (shamefully) typical manner, trying to make this all about me.  Now that that's out of the way, I'm hoping to experience God's love in entirely new ways.  I'm so excited.